March 12th 2002
Marginally greater freedom has been acheived! As of 4 days ago, I have been alive 1 score and 1 year, thus entitling me to a smattering of additional rights in this god forsaken autocracy. So in bitter commemoration of this milestone, (remarkable only thanks to statist bitches Liz Dole and Sarah Brady) I went out and got myself tatted up last thursday. Now barring any unfortunate severing of my right arm, the word freedom will always exist in written form so long as I live. Ama-Gi it is. Hell yes brothers and sisters. Heres a shot of my recently decorated shoulder.
This was an interesting experience. First I walk into the place (Iron Age studios in the Loop, for my fellow masochistic St. Louisans) and exchange a few pleasantries and try to get some basic information out of a clerk who is too drugged up to concentrate on both keeping her eyes open and sitting upright on a stool at the same time. Unfortunately that is not enough to deter me, and I sit around for 35 minutes, until 'the artist' can see me. In the mean time I peruse some photo albums of past customers. Of particular interest was the section on peirced genitalia. Rotten.com could not come up with worse pictures than what these crazy fucks have done to themselves. It used to be that putting a ring through your scrotum was pretty shocking. Bullshit my friend. Here's what impresses the ladies today: Make 5 circumferential slits along the length of your cock. Insert a C shaped ring into each slit, sew it up and let the skin heal over it (the openings in the rings are lined up along your urethra so you can still actually piss). You now have a metal ribbed penis, you are special. While shaking my head numbly over the descent of humanity, I am finally summoned into one of the back booths. |